The Top 20 Oxymorons
Here are pairs of words that should not be said together. . .yet tend to be said more often than not.
20 - Act Natural
19 - Genuine Imitation
18 - Good Grief
17 - Same Difference
16 - Almost Exactly
15 - Sanitary Landfill
14 - Alone Together
13 - Silent Scream
12 - Living Dead
11 - Small Crowd
10 - New Classic
9 - Sweet Sorrow
8 - “Now, Then”
7 - Passive Aggressive
6 - Taped Live
5 - Clearly Misunderstood
4 - Peace Force
3 - Terribly Pleased
2 - Pretty Ugly
. . .and the #1 Oxymoron is. . .
1 - Microsoft Works
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Comments
“clearly misunderstood” when used in proper context “you clearly misunderstood me” means “you obviously did not understand what i meant”…
Unfortunately most of these work just fine, and only seem strange if you take them alone and out of context.
For example ‘Terribly’ can also mean ‘extremely. So you can be ‘Terribly pleased’
‘Same Difference’ is referring to - you guessed it - the SAME difference in two examples.
‘Act natural’ means just that ACT, like you would naturally.
‘Small Crowd’ works just fine, just like a ‘Large crowd’ works just fine too. A crowd is a decent sized group of people, usually larger than normal, however even ‘crowd’ can - and often needs - a qualifier. Small. Large. Decent. Huge. Massive. Tiny.
And so on, some make a sort of sense like Silent Scream and Living Dead, but those are descriptive terms intended to invoke images and ideas and aren’t supposed to be literal
wow dude shut up…
these arent supposed to be gramatically correct, its obvious they make sense in context
the idea is they are funny and they are oxymorons even though the make sense
20, 18-14, 12-2 are not oxymorons I will not go through each of them. Many are based off the fist adjective modifying the second(Almost modifies Exactly, making it close to exactly, but not exit), or simply are not mutually exclusive(a landfill is not necessarily unsanitary).
All Hail Grammar Natzi.
This is comedy, not english class.
I wasn’t really paying attention as I got close to the end, so when I read “Microsoft Works” I got hit by surprise,
and fell off my chair.
you guys just need to calm the fuck down. don’t argue through comments. no one ever checks them again and it’s stupid to argue about shit like this. you people are the ones that give the internet a bad name.
good day to you all.
Although I did like the punch line because fuck Microsoft and all their damn problems!!! But…I can’t believe you guys would argue about something this lame!!!
IBM compatible is a funny one too…
I understand the concept to this “joke” but if you actually made it past grade 6 English, you’d understand that most of these are correct when put into context. Although, I must admint I “lol’d” at #1.
blahdie, no seriously, why even make this a top 20 list, why no just make it a “hey a list of cool acronyms”
but no you had to be an asshole and weed out you didnt like or didnt find and just leave the crappy ones, and what the hell up with the #1, microsoft does work asshole. how do you think 300+ million people are online right now? apple? yeah no
eath shit and die
OK. TO MY FELLOW RESPONDERS. STOP FRIGGIN TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OUT OF THINGS THAT ARE JUST THERE TO BE FUNNY. THATS CALLED SPOILING. Oh. And what about “the first second”?
How about humble Democrat? No, jk. (to balance out some of the conservative jokes.)
My friend always said pregnant lawyer was an oxymoron. I thought it was random but awesome.
#1 is classic. Good job!